Hey Hey hey. I feel like shit My body feels ok my my life sucks. Im broke with only hope. I guess thats why im bloging right now because i just needed to get to writing. Got Big things happening with finger farm. Want to start doing videos about Stem. Met a friend recently He might be in a video doing compost. Thats would be cool , feel like i need more content.

I dont know whether to start with SCOBY or mushrooms.SCOBY- kombucha Is so complex , We have sooo many options , From growing our own to looking at it through a microscope to creating a data base. Having a scoby Seed Bank crazy. Creating a phylogenetic tree of scoby ,,,, Wit pictures under a microsope crazy, Programing Probitiotics Crazzzzzzy. its sonds hard hahaha. I mean i worry about cleanlyness of my space. I kinda need a lab , Or atlest a condo and right now my Kitchen and bathroom are outside.I grew mushrooms and feel more confident doing it with mushrooms . With the right tools i could do it with my eyes close. Sitting over a Crock pot Sterilizing substrate is my quiet place, a lil jazz and 1.5 bud wisers and im back. Still we have big dream. talking to mom later

our family is dead and dying, Our men are gone. you participated in that here is a medal.

I wanted a connected family, From a young age people siloed off from me . As a kid others and running and chasing girls .asking to play and them giving dirty looks and saying no. Getting put on timeout during recces having to image i was in a spaceship to stop from crying at my desk alone.Not being accepted playing in the dirt. Alone Mom got a new job, I was in a new city . Small apartment but good heathcare so i was sent to mental hospital for my birthday Alone. Dad gets me out of the mental hospital goes back on tour , Alone . Have i ever had a stable Family for over 2 years naw????? Fuck ya

Tired of being alone

My org is coming together slowly but surely, but we need resources, does it come with accreditation or work, or a rich benefactor, either way the work will be done , Aslo been thinking about starting a tobacco farm, would be pretty cool to break into the leaf market. We got a niche, but resarch has to be done and we need land.

I got a Donation comming

I really want to die. Please can you find someone who i can talk to about it. Realisltic not just tell me i have life to live. trying to Compare pains. Com pair pains. Pairing pains. Comp. Complimentary Compairing pains. pairing pains. Pains got paired. Problems from people who pain is paired. Solidarity confinement. Been lonely so long im institutionalized. And everyone reaching out has someone. Always did. waaaaaaa, Maybe thats when it started. When my parents said they didnt love me , Never found a group to leach on. Or a surrogate parent

Surrogacy

Arrangement, often supported by a legal agreement, whereby a woman agrees to childbirth on behalf of another person who will become the child's parent after birth.

--

Arrangement, often supported by a legal agreement whereby a woman agrees to financially support on behalf of another person.

I do feel like my mom was a surrogate. For some reason I stayed their , or i never left the womb, Forgot women dont know how to love.. somniclona Watchig the frank lucis video With fredie spray painted in the mink would be dope if they had benny on the other side spray painted as the riavil gang that shot the car with the black hat and tommy gun and a tux suit

back to the point suma suma suma cloudmillean(milli(e)-an) cluad. claude suma suma suma claude milleion.

Last week saw a picture of my Dad symboling protection Glad He is safe..er And stoped all that trolling shit

the end. Talked to my mom I feel the empty space , but she is focused on Fitness and not network Tv so thats good

Even doing little gym challenges.

Being a parent is exhausting, I would have loved it. Cant blame them cause they not bulit like me.

Ready to die. Some people fought there way out of the pit. Their appearances is a testament to where they came from what they had to overcome. Everybody rich has razor marks right? My presence is a testament to the ability to running away. My presence Here is a testament to parents floating a fancy. Now im Investing in the ability to run more. Im ready to stop running. Micro Its all running , Everything come at a price is what I'm learning now

Roll up the weed and puff the tree so I don't burn it down

The house is burning down

You left me on the couch

I'm still burning now

Somebody pull me out

• Amer

No complaints

No, I’m not no saint, but I been keepin' faith

All I ask, don't attempt to judge me for my evil ways

Look where I was brought up, look where I was raised, keep a thang

You ain't gotta tell me, smart enough to know I need to change

• mossy

They Know they are burning the house , But shit they were birth in flame. There presences is a testament to the bodys caught and the lives it changed including their own. They run away from fire. Im trying to find an oasis. - Hang man.

At the end of a noose. You going to earn it Lux voice. Walking in the desert all day you stop and find a tree and a cactus this is as good as its going to get you drink from the cactus hands bleeding from the spike and die in the shade.

Die in the shade

Well it baout that time. Get a motorcycle and drive into the forest get as drunk ask i can and hang my self. I knew its been coming. My statement has always been the same. Sorry i wasn't good enough for this world. Sorry i wasn't good enough to understand how to function. I don't want sympathy. I want to express a deep regret at my inadequacy. Maybe be excused from my failing regarding others and there exceptions or hopes. I'm a loser. Dying is a gift. The prospect of dying Is my present. Building up the strength to go ahead and do it. Mostly opportunity, but shit its so taxing to live. So taxing that sometimes you can forget what your losing. People say its hard to live, easy to die. Well show me how. Naw you breath without thinking. conscientious Death. Con - scientious aware of the con. making a decision. If we live inside a simulation. Its a jail. A cell.

Ready to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.Moving towards it. Dim Lived in darkness.Hoping that the warmth feels like love. Cant wait to see them. Someone should make a song like sitting at the dock of the bay but with trains. The different stops of death. Or maybe like chrismas strogue movie. Train stops traveling through darkness and revelation.

Like a train ride through dantes hell. Or a personal hell. Or a song about suicide and a train.

Sittin' in the mornin' sun Late night after 3rd shit or 2nd.

I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes Catching the train to an empty home

Watchin' the ships roll in Crowded streets streets with lively people full of

Then I watch 'em roll away again Mood{ Full of Energy with no where to go}

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Descending to down a subway hall way

Watchin' the tide roll away Scene {Neon lights warm lighting smell of piss and concrete sleeping homeless}

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Feeling Subtext {Fear Of Living here}

Wastin' time Response So were waiting for our train Aka light at the end of the tunnel

I left my home in Georgia Question {Is it a man Dying in a subway station}

And headed for the 'Frisco Bay Build On SubText {Living in this moment - Emotionally, Physically}

'Cause I got nothin' to live for The subway is warm from the air above. A man walks by playing an instrument

Looks like nothin's gonna come my way A ukle haha like a violin . Something of quiet despair a record

Just sittin' on the dock of the bay hahaha a flute |Andre 3000 as the devil to sing us home

Watchin' the tide roll away

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay

Wastin' time

Looks like nothin's gonna change What brought me here is the warmness of the subway

Everything seems to stay the same a comfort. Before i knew i was going home

I can't do what ten people tell me to do I wandered here irrespective of going home

So I guess I'll remain the same I wandered here on autopilot.

Maybe at some point i forget im going home

Sittin' here restin' my bones The metaphysical idea of being with a lack of purpose

And this loneliness won't leave me alone

Two thousand miles I roamed --------- The idea of being Choosing to come to earth to earth but

Just to make this dock my home its warm like the subway but it smells like piss and there

There is a homeless man in the corner sleeping shoe less

Walking down the concrete stairs with warm lighting

I went on auto pilot wound up at the edge of the platform

Looks like nothin's gonna change Not wanting to live like this. Unlike the orgnial song

Everything seems to stay the same We talk about the need to change Juxtapose

I can't do what ten people tell me to do Resentful Regretting Rejecting

So I guess I'll remain the same Others Happiness My Dim-witted failures Inability The comfort of pain

Missing life Wrong vessel body timing The Light at the

and basic Joy not being Setting at the end of the train end of the

Born for Life empty cable car Quiet peace Embracing the

Empty station rats scattering light at the

end of the tunnel

Understanding that even the peace of Quiet subway is ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------temporary. Embracing the light at the End

Temporary. So We embracing that slice of light at the end. Just to watch them roll away again

Taking a silent walk to the end Become come one again

Back to meet my one and only friend (NSE\TV)

Make my way Back home again

Its been fun but all good things got to end

My job is done Ive finally made amends

Waiting for the light at the end Make my way down, back home again. Wastein time

waiting for the light at the end (a) waste of time Waiting time

(End,Death) Makein mine

(Im a) Waste of time

Aint afraid of dying

Pray and dying

Make amends pray and dying

Im ready

domination or transformation. are you open to reevaluating your sense of self. i dont know if you can do that if you only offer pleasure. I Have seen people tricked into changing. Abused into a new person, But is that real, I guess it transforms hopeful and the opportunist. But im neither i just want peace. Someone told me it was in the past